i thought i was done with this part of my life.....

i am sitting along side the bed of kevin in the emergency room.  he attempted suicide again tonight.  i actually believe that he is really just calling out for attention again, but who am i to say?  i did believe that this part of my life had been over though.....apparently not......since here i sit.....

i am glad that God has worked in my heart, and has kept it semi-soft so that i am able to be here.

i just can not imagine totally destroying my life, like kevin has his. but, then, i am mentally healthy, so of course i cant imagine doing it.  i make better choices, so that my life is not destroyed.....i do know that he believed that his and kathy's love was wonderful and real, and worth giving everything up for....but, apparently they are now "done" and live apart..... i believe he is broken hearted over it though.  i can not imagine the loneliness--the absolute aloneness that he must feel.   he says that is not all that is wrong though....i just know that he has a very long way to go to mental health.....

and, so, here i sit, along side his bed. because i believe it is the right thing to do.   his vitals are all good.  he will probably just sleep it off, and then go to behavioral health.....meanwhile, his family sifts and sorts thru their feelings....

i feel sad for my kids having grown up with this......